Monday, January 30, 2012



Posted on 01/29/2012 by Michael in The Real Housewives

By Mike Bandy

It's time for the Real Housewives of Atlanta to take off for Africa! Aren't you excited?! I won't waste any time - here's how part one of the three part Africa spectacular went down:

First, we got to watch the women flying for 16 hours on a plane to Africa, filmed entirely on the ladies' cell phones. Is Bravo out of money or something? Most of what we saw on the plane was pretty typical stuff. Remember all those flights you've taken with friends, and the dumb things you talked about? Just picture that, and you're there.

Once they landed in Cape Town (which is GORGEOUS, by the way), we spent roughly ten minutes watching a process that I have no doubt took several hours - getting out of the airport with the 42,967 bags all the ladies brought between each other. NeNe was having trouble keeping her luggage on the cart, some of the ladies had problems going up the escalator, Kandi had a problem being stuck in an elevator with NeNe and Marlo, and I had a problem with having to watch the whole sad thing. Why did they waste so much time covering this? And why am I??

The women finally made it out of the airport and into the shuttle bus, and Marlo decided she was going to school the ladies on etiquette, namely, how to pass salt at a dinner table. Marlo announced that she'd be giving the ladies a tip every day, and Sheree wasn't interested in that at all ("I don't think Emily Post has a chapter in her book about aggravated assault!" YES!). You could just tell that Marlo was gonna make things interesting on this trip, for sure.

At their luxury apartment, Marlo didn't disappoint us, telling the ladies that she wanted the first bedroom, that she wanted her own bathroom, and torturing the poor concierge by saying she wanted to be contacted every time housekeeping came and left. Mind you, they were only going to be in the apartment for 36 hours. I'm surprised Marlo didn't have them install cameras in her bedroom like she's got at home. What's wrong with this woman? Meanwhile, Sheree, who was totally on her game tonight, made a joke that she, NeNe, and Phaedra would all be rooming together, and that got everybody laughing. Sheree: Every once in a while, I actually like you.

The next day, the women all gathered out on the balcony for breakfast, and that's where the groundwork was laid for the blowout between Sheree and Marlo that would come later. Here's how it started - Phaedra gave all the women (except Marlo) a lovely compact mirror with an inscription on it (something about a journey being amazing). Marlo was fake upset about not receiving one, and Phaedra said that she didn't know she'd be coming, but would be sure to get her one. Hmm...

Then Sheree announced that a male friend of hers (who happens to like boys, and this will become relevant later) was in Cape Town and had invited her to a dinner party. She invited Phaedra and Kandi and announced this to the table, before explaining that she didn't know Marlo was going to be there, OBVIOUSLY she wasn't going to invite NeNe, and she didn't want to invite Cynthia because she felt that Cynthia wouldn't leave NeNe. All valid reasons, but was it necessary for Sheree to bring this up AT THE TABLE in front of everyone?! Marlo made a face, and when she and NeNe and Cynthia headed inside to get ready for the day's activities, the conversation was all about how Sheree had thrown shade at Cynthia. But make no mistake - this was definitely not over.

Then we actually got to see Kim, which was something I wasn't sure would happen since she didn't go to Africa. Kim's basically all on her own now, with Kroy in training camp and all the ladies away, and Sweetie is apparently being no help at all, which is pissing Kim off. I have a feeling that she won't be working for Kim for much longer. Here were the main highlights of Kim's section of the episode: Ariana said that Kroy told her he's going to get Kim a diamond, and Kim's dad told her that he was happy she's with Kroy because he's the right guy for her. Some other highlights worth mentioning are the orange, Tony the Tiger highlights that Kim's dad was sporting this episode. Did he always have those?! Why?! Not a good look, Papa Kim!

Back to Africa! The ladies all went out on a yacht to see the city, and while there, a conversation was had about how everybody was going to get along with each other, initiated by none other than Marlo. Of course, she initiated it by saying that she didn't think Kandi was going to be as nice as she is, because she threw shade at her when she saw her at the mall recently. Chick, please. I didn't believe that for a minute. Then NeNe and Phaedra talked about the alleged issues they have, and Cynthia told Phaedra that she wasn't sure how to talk to her after what had happened between their husbands, but she was glad things were okay now. Oh, and Sheree and NeNe are making progress, but only kind of. Booooring!

When everyone decided to be nice to each other, Kandi had a look on her face like she didn't believe it was possible, and NeNe said that she hoped it would last. Oh, if only it were that easy, ladies.

Kandi, Phaedra and Sheree were getting ready for the dinner party that started a mess, and in the middle of Phaedra talking about how glad she was that things were out in the open, Cynthia walked in. Sheree invited her to the dinner party, and Cynthia asked if NeNe and Marlo were invited, and Sheree said no. Cynthia said she'd think about it, turned on her eight-inch heels (seriously, how high was she towering over everybody there?), and left.

Where did she go, you ask? Of course - RIGHT BACK TO NENE to tell her everything! Now, Cynthia claimed that if she knew what was about to take place after that, she never would have said anything, but I don't believe it for a minute. We all know that Marlo has a criminal past related to her temper, so telling her that she STILL wasn't invited to a party was definitely going to set her off. Boy did it ever...

Marlo marched into Sheree's room and demanded to know why she wasn't invited, and the argument that ensued was punctuated by Marlo saying to Sheree, "That's why you don't have a man, go ahead and mess with those f******!" You know what word I'm talking about, but if you don't, Kandi explained it best, "The F word that rhymes with maggots". I audibly gasped when she said that, and I couldn't believe that she went there! I don't blame Sheree for going in on her after that, but the fight ended up getting a little ridiculous.

It was hard to understand with all the yelling, but Marlo and Sheree went back and forth about how Marlo is a gold digger and Sheree can't get her money right, and NeNe stepped in the middle to play the role of peacemaker. Yes, you read that correctly. NeNe. Stepped in. To play peacemaker. It didn't work out too well, when the screen faded to black, Marlo and Sheree were still screaming at each other in weird singsong voices that sounded like a bad Disney movie being played backwards.

What did you guys think of the episode?!? Do you think Marlo and Sheree will ever make up? Will this bring NeNe and Sheree closer together? How does Cynthia look with braids? And most importantly, will Kroy EVER pop the question on Kim this season (duh, they ended up getting married, but I want to see a proposal this season)? Tell me in the comments!